Monday, July 13, 2009

Why would I ever blog?

So here's the whole reason for this blog. Following a DUI conviction in the spring I was sentenced by the lovely Superior Court Judge Juliet Boccone to 28 days of hard time, with the options of doing "straight time" or working outside the jail and returning to my own bed at night.
I returned to court more recently to ask for more jail time. That's right ladies and gentlemen - MORE time! Just when it looks like I am truly a masochist, there is method to my madness. Turns out, adding another two days to my sentence was the only way I could be eligible for house arrest.
Many may or may not know my papa was diagnosed with Guillain Barre syndrome, which left him totally disabled. In two days he was transformed from normal retiree to hardcore quadriplegic. It's not as tragic as it may seem. He will recover, maybe fully after a couple of years. Since Easter he has regained limited movement in his arms and legs, but is still unable to manipulate objects with his hands or feet.

So really it's the ideal time to be confined to a house. Misery loves company and neither my father or myself are able to leave this furnished cage. My mother hasn't left the house in like 15 years, with the exception of Sunday mass and a 10-day trip to China a couple years back. How could I even complain? At least I can open the cover of a book to read and oh, what a joy it now seems to handle my own spoon!
But still, I will complain. I will be bored, bitchy and sarcastic. And while I wager no one will ever read this, the threat it does cross the path of another pair of eyes adds a bit of excitement to my day.